The Canadian National Fantasy Hockey League

Thats the message from disgruntled fans as the Rattlers fell out of a playoff spot last night. And management is listening as they announced that everyone over aged 24 is available for trade. They are looking for pro ready young players and especially a #1 goalie and shut down defender. NOT looking for old expensive players, PIM hounds, or "maybe if they really develop well" players. MacDermid has the rep of being a yes or no type trader and rarely gets involved in long trade talks.

The Rattlers find themselves in unfamiliar territory so far this season, that is to say above .500 and first in their division. And they owe it all to the Thunder as they are 3-0 against their division rivals. It's not like they have dominated the Thunder, in fact all 3 games have been tight affairs with the outcome in doubt till the end. Witness the 16-11 goal totals for the 3 games. Its not like the Thunder as a weak team as they have a better record than the Rattlers without those 3 games. So blame it on karma, blame it on different styles, blame it on luck or blame it on the rain.

The North River Rattlers stopped the Tigers perfect season in its track as they handed the Tigers their first defeat by a 4-3 score. Frankie Feeble was the star of the game as he stopped 31 shots while the Rattlers got their goals with only 25 SOG. Down 3-1 after a Tigers goal at the 19:20 mark of the 2nd, the Rattlers came back thanks in part to Claude Levi-Brull's goal with 6 seconds left in the frame. Benjamin Biel tied it and Tommy Zinetti's 5th of the campain proved the winner. Guy LaRue's 4th in the 1st was the other marker.

The Rattlers have gotten of to a decent start, with a win and a tie, in their first two games but the topic of conversation, around the Nest, has been the schedule. "Every damn season its the same damn thing", said an irate Alexander Lowe, "the whole league starts and then they stick us in later. Hell, even the preseason is the same way. Its like the shedule makers don't want us here or something. Almost like we are an afterthought. I wish I knew where he lived, I'd show him afterthought."

Several Rattlers fans expressed displeasure as the team announced they would remove the north end hot dog stand in favor of 50 new seats. "Now I gotta walk half way round the rink to get my dogs and they'll be cold by the time I get back to my seat," said long time Rattlers season ticket holder Joe Black, "and besides, everyone knows that the North End dogs are the best in the building!!""

A lack of cap room has forced the Rattlers to place the following players on the trade block...

Tony Iommi27C
Tero Virtanen27LW
Dwayne Bastien28LW
Dragan Stoiastanovich29D
Darren Gravel27D
David Mills28D
Blaine Weiss24C
David Caldwell24D

In exchange we are looking for youth, picks and buckets of cash...

The North River Rattlers are pleased to announce the appointment of a new press agent, Gabby McMouth. "Gabby's job is to make the Rattlers the most talked about team in the league," MacDermid told reporters, " and in no way is this announcement designed to take the heat of the recent reports of the Presidents disappearence."

Rumors out of North River are causing quite a buzz. There have been reports that league president Dave Smith has been abducted by an unknown group and is being held for some dark purpose. There is even spectulation that his recent message from Europe was in fact a coded plea for rescue. The longer his absence goes unexplained the greater weight these rumors carry.

Last season the Rattlers used most of their meager cash reserves on scouting in order to obtain the best possible players via the draft. It was easy since they were drafting very high in every round. This season the Rattlers were relegated to the 10 spot in the draft order making advance scouting difficult so the club decided to save what little cash they has for stadium upgrades and some training for their incoming youth. Maybe some day the Rattlers will see the benefits of their extensive youth movement and actually be a contender.

The Rattlers have enjoyed their best offensive production since their move to North River as of late, and it couldn't come at a better time. They were foundering near the conference basement when some line changes sparked a string of fireworks. Benjamin Biel, often tagged as an underachiever, has been the model of consistancy as he leads the team in points with 59. UFA signing Rosey LaRose has also given good bang for the buck as he sits 2nd with 58.